Who Gets To Call You Home (S3 E6)

Family shouldn’t be a box you’re forced into; it should be a home you build on purpose. We dig into what “soul kin” really means and why the people who know your weird and love you harder for it become the truest definition of family. From childfree choices and the joyful chaos of dogs, a cat, and a fast-growing corn snake to the friends who pack at 3 a.m., we map out how care, consent, and reliability form the strongest bonds.

We also travel through queer history to honor the caretakers who showed up when institutions failed. The AIDS crisis taught our community how to build networks of love under pressure, with lesbians, activists, and artists stepping up long before official acknowledgment. We talk icons, stigma, and the power of visible allies, then connect those lessons to the way we support each other now. Love that is loud, practical, and consistent is more than a feeling or emotion; it’s infrastructure.

Faith enters the chat, too. We clarify our language, distinguish Christianity from “churchianity,” and share how spiritual harm can push people away from themselves. The conversation holds space for supportive believers while calling out weaponized dogma. Through it all, we return to the same North Star: family is who listens first, asks what you need, and shows up without keeping score.

Ready to add your voice? Tell us what family means to you and who feels like home. We would love to hear your story! Tag or share with us:

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Chapters

• 0:00 Satire Of Haters And Hypocrisy
• 2:20 Defining Family And Soul Kin
• 6:40 OG Family Shoutouts
• 8:20 Fur, Scales, And Childfree Choices
• 11:35 Chosen Family In Queer Community
• 14:20 AIDS History, Icons, And Solidarity
• 18:00 Growing The Family And Future Plans
• 20:55 Churchianity, Support, And Apology
• 22:20 Listener Questions And Community Invites
• 23:40 Sign-Off And Calls To Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

I can't stand these gay people. I gotta listen to their podcast. Oh my god, I can't stand that the gays are doing things with each other. How dare they have clear communications in a space where they can talk to each other and congregate and learn.

SPEAKER_01: 0:14

Dare they love freely? That's not what Jesus died for. Oh my god. Oh wait, it actually is.

SPEAKER_00: 0:45

This is the place where we welcome your weird, we encourage your intuition, and we just keep going like that one little train guy. I'm Erin. And I'm Corey.

SPEAKER_02: 0:54

Welcome back. And speaking of trains, oh goodness. Uh yeah, I know. Uh, we are just rolling along with this season, aren't we? This is episode six already. I mean, like, just toot toot a little bit. I'm really impressed with our professional growth through our first year as a podcast. It's really, really fucking incredible. Less than a year ago, I had no idea how to even start this or where to begin. And now we're out there. We've got traction, we've got, you know, we've got movement, we've got growth, we've got family. I'm proud of us. I'm proud to be a part of Queerly Committed, and I'm proud of how we have grown. And I'm proud of how we show up.

SPEAKER_00: 1:41

I feel that. I feel that 100%. When we started doing this, we really didn't know anything. Yeah. We threw ourselves out there. Where it started and where it has become, I can definitely tell the difference between, you know, when we were where we were learning everything in the first season to where it's now more polished and way better sounding. Oh yeah. In the uh in this third season. We already had a lot of experience already in different aspects as far as musicians go. And that really did help us out tremendously. But being being podcasters was not something that we knew too much about. And to be able to say that, hey, we still doing it and we're in season three, that's great. Right. You know, so um throughout all of this growth that we have done, it uh it wouldn't be possible without you. Yeah. Our listeners. So if you could please be sure to follow us on the YouTubes. We're expanding and you can help. Like, comment, share, and we want to hear what you think. You know, this this is also shaped by you. You are welcome here, and we're really glad to have you.

SPEAKER_02: 2:44

Yeah. Thank you for being here and welcome to the family.

SPEAKER_00: 2:49

Right, right. And when it comes to our family, it does include our listeners. We share parts of our lives with you, and it feels like we're all having conversations together than just the two of us and maybe the dogs.

SPEAKER_02: 3:01

Right, which are literally right underneath our feet right now.

SPEAKER_00: 3:04

Our family and even what we thought we knew about the word family has changed over the years. And today we're gonna talk about our family and all of its glorious beauty.

SPEAKER_02: 3:13

Yeah. So, welcome to the family, y'all. Yeah, welcome. Uh it's wild and crazy over here, but it's not like a weird work family kind of way. Ugh. Anyway, um, we speak straight, even though we aren't. Holler. And uh before we talk further about what our family looks like and how we see it in the future, let's talk a little bit about what family means to us. To me, I would define family as soul kin. It just feels like it fits the whole vibe. Soul kin. It's like your tribe, your people. What about you, Aaron? What does family mean to you?

SPEAKER_00: 3:55

So, family is the family to me are the people that know you're weird and love the shit out of you for it. If you can't get down with my weird, we're probably not gonna be friends, to be fair. And I that's why I I am always 100% myself. I am goofy as fuck, I am weird as fuck, I don't care. And I have attracted some of the most amazing people into my life because of that. And I know that these are people that I can count on. And I uh I love I love them tremendously, they are super important part of my life. So yeah. I love that.

SPEAKER_02: 4:36

That's fantastic. Family and the idea of family has really changed over the years for me. I used to think that family was the group of people that you saw around the holidays, kind of just like the the adults in your life. And now as an adult, I think the family is so much more because you're right, family will answer your phone call every time. Family will always be there to help, no matter what is going on. Family is a special group of people who love unconditionally without any expectations. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 5:14

We listen and we don't judge.

SPEAKER_02: 5:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 5:17

Those are the people that you can tell them, hey, listen, this is this is my crazy case, and they're gonna listen without just totally getting up on your shit telling you, Jesus Christ, how the hell could you do such a thing? That's such a poor decision, blah, blah, blah.

SPEAKER_02: 5:32

Right, nobody wants to hear that.

SPEAKER_00: 5:34

Right, right. They instead listen, they'll be like, okay, and what did we learn? Right. Those are those are the kind of things that they do. Or they'll ask, okay, would you like advice? Would you like me to listen, or would you like a hot take on this? They know how to come prepared to the conversation.

SPEAKER_02: 5:50

So Yeah, and I think family too has just like a deeper understanding of each other because I I think that there's more grace, but also I think that that dynamic is is tricky in its own way. Yeah. Because even though it is very graceful, it is also something that I think we sometimes just take for granted.

SPEAKER_00: 6:19

Yeah. You gotta nurture those bad boys. Right. Right. And speaking of uh when you said loving unconditionally and without expectation, so those are the people that are there helping and packing at 3 a.m. because your lease is up at 8 a.m.

SPEAKER_02: 6:35

Oh yeah, we love that family. Um, honestly. And also, what about the family that raised us? Yeah. So let's talk about that a little bit. Let's uh introduce some of our OG members in our family. Would you like to start?

SPEAKER_00: 6:52

Absolutely, absolutely. OG, hands down, my mom. My mom is one of the most incredibly strong women that I've ever met. It's where I get my sarcasm, my wit, my resilience, my ability to take on hard problems and be able to function through them and create a balance with everything that's going on. She has she has just taught me how she taught me how to be a good person. She is led by example. And without her, I don't know where I'd be today because she is uh she is my tackling fuel, so to speak.

SPEAKER_02: 7:30

I love that. I can I can confirm.

SPEAKER_00: 7:32

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 7:33

Your mother is a very sweet woman.

SPEAKER_00: 7:35

Yeah. What about you? Who do you who's you got?

SPEAKER_02: 7:38

Let's see. Well, I've got a pretty big family. But I will uh I'll go through the the main players. I mean, like I've got my parents, my mom and dad. They've been uh married and together for I don't know, like 37 years. Um I've got two sisters. And uh my maternal grandparents are still still with us. Amazing. Yeah, and I'm thankful for that. Amazing. Both of them. So yeah, I've got uh I've got good people all around. Families can come in many shapes and sizes. Our family, Erin, uh has fur and scales. Yeah. Aaron and I talked early on that we did not uh wish to have human children, human babies of our own. No thanks. And honestly, it's it's just a no for me, dog. I'm Aunt Corey to my friends' kiddos, and I'm Uncle Corey to my sister's kiddo, and I'm good. We're good. I love getting to be both the cool aunt and the funkal, uh, and then going home.

SPEAKER_00: 8:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 8:54

Without them, you know, right. Because children are sticky, and as much as I love them, I also really enjoy our relatively child-free home. But the dogs, I tell you, they're they're basically children.

SPEAKER_00: 9:11

Yeah. I I know that uh my nieces and nephews, we were we were at a uh social gathering at this one community center where my family lives. My nieces and nephews were like, Aaron, Ann Erin is like a firework. When she appears, she's just so bright, and she really just comes in with a bang.

SPEAKER_02: 9:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 9:33

And it's always it's always so surprising to see her, see and hear what she does. So yeah. I uh I always think that that's pretty, pretty cool, is that uh they're just like, holy shit, Ann Aaron's the goat. I love that. I love that so much. Let's um let's talk about chosen family, you know, in the queer unity. Yes. And uh because we know that family is not always about the people that you're born into. Right.

SPEAKER_02: 10:02

It's how uh they can be chosen. Right, right. And uh I absolutely acknowledge the chosen family within the queer unity, and some of that is because of support. Um, and some of that is just finding the people that that really vibe with us, you know, regardless. Um, and for me, I believe that all of my family is chosen in some way, and whether that's in this life or another, I chose them or they chose me, and really what the fuck is the difference? Because I believe chosen family is sacred and they've been chosen. They're people that we've deemed worthy of sharing our experiences with. Like I said, I understand that the that chosen family within the queer immunity sometimes involves choosing family that is supportive of us, that is loving, that is understanding. I understand that choice. I also support the fuck out of that choice. Do you? Surround yourself with people who love and support you, period, in all ways. Always.

SPEAKER_00: 11:09

Right. Do you like do you have those people that only support you when you're doing good, or you know, that only support you when you're doing bad and they get excited to see you failing and that kind of shit. If you know, those ones uh they uh they can that's some fair weather friend shit. Yeah, you know, I think I think that a lot of people end up you know snaking through the cracks, so to speak. Definitely check into your friend group and see who's there for you in always, always. And uh yeah, and truly, queerness and the queer community as a whole, really, we've expanded the meaning of family. Oh yeah. Our community has shown that we love to love and we're proud to love loudly.

SPEAKER_02: 11:49

Yeah, regardless of what any administration wants to say.

SPEAKER_00: 11:53

Right, right.

SPEAKER_02: 11:54

Honestly, I think it just fuels the fire.

SPEAKER_00: 11:56

Right.

SPEAKER_02: 11:56

The queer community has shown historically is known for their love. Yeah. I mean, if we even want to look at the lesbians during the AIDS crisis, that is love.

SPEAKER_00: 12:13

Listen, I'm not saying that she's a lesbian, but that still remains to be seen considering the one video that she made. But you know who this other you know who show you know who showed up for people during the AIDS crisis before the fucking president even acknowledged that there was a problem? Madonna. Fucking Madonna.

SPEAKER_02: 12:29

Madonna.

SPEAKER_00: 12:30

Fucking Madonna. Madonna. It was her roommate who passed away from AIDS, and she became a huge voice. I believe that she was the first person that actually used her platform uh to speak about it. And that's huge. Like, like I said, she acknowledged that this was happening before our the fucking president at the time, who which was uh Ronald Reagan.

unknown: 12:52

Right.

SPEAKER_00: 12:53

Reaganomics. Yuck.

SPEAKER_02: 12:55

What about Freddie?

SPEAKER_00: 12:57

Freddie Mercury?

SPEAKER_02: 12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 12:59

I don't believe he ever came out as gay. He was uh he said that he was bisexual. Uh and he did have a pretty much like a common law wife, but they uh split when he did come out as um as bisexual. And he died the very next day when he publicly said that he had AIDS. Oh so he was uh diagnosed with AIDS in 9 in 1987, and he continued to record with Queen, and he was featured on their final album, which was uh 1995's Made in Heaven. And in 1991, the day after publicly announcing his diagnosis, he died from complications of the disease at 45 years old.

SPEAKER_02: 13:41

Oh wow.

SPEAKER_00: 13:42

Yeah. Yeah. So he suffered in silence, so to speak.

SPEAKER_02: 13:48

I did not realize that there was so much silence.

SPEAKER_00: 13:52

Oh yeah. It was it was um But I also understand why. Right? Because if you didn't want to be around a gay person, you didn't want to touch a gay person. Right because nobody understood what AIDS was, nobody stood right understood what HIV was. Because of that, these people became pariahs. Right. And the people that stepped up to care for them were the lesbos, the lesbians, the lesbians, la dollabines, la dollabine sign.

SPEAKER_02: 14:19

You know, to be able to step up in the middle of that crisis, to watch people win their families, you know what I mean? Like that's that's a huge thing. And honestly, I you know what I really, really appreciate about our episodes, how we share who we are with our listeners, our history, our knowledge, our experience, and it's like we've sounded the alarm for the entire soul tribe, all of y'all. And Erin, you and I both have beautiful and loving relationships with our family that continue to develop and grow and thrive as we do. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 15:04

Absolutely. And our family grows and thrives as its own community as well. How do you see your family growing over the years, Corey?

SPEAKER_02: 15:15

Well, I really honestly think that our family is going to have 16 dogs. Mostly of the wiener variety. Wieners? Wiener dogs? Simply honestly, because have you ever seen a gaggle of wiener dogs?

SPEAKER_00: 15:32

It's fucking adorable.

SPEAKER_02: 15:34

It is. Yeah. Plus, if the babies need homes, we could do that. And I also believe that our family will simply continue to grow as we continue to keep the light on.

SPEAKER_01: 15:46

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 15:47

Like I know this isn't a hotel, but we did light the fire and we're gonna keep it fucking burning. I want my soul tribe here. I want all of you guys. Uh I want to meet everybody. A meet and greet. Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 16:02

That should be something. I honestly. We're still looking to the ice cream social, by the way. We didn't we haven't forgotten about that. So we're uh still researching that. Don't just make sure that you y'all know that we still have uh our sights on that. So absolutely. Yeah. I definitely, I definitely see like, okay, a gaggle of wiener dogs would be fucking fantastic. Yeah. I also see an orange kitten, an orange cat. Oh, little tapby. It's some oh just ginger cat. Ginger cat, because they are just wild as fuck. They are ornery as fuck. I've never met an ornerier cat than an orange cat. So I've never had an orange cat. Oh, I'm excited. We had an orange cat named Quincy, and that motherfucker would just latch onto my diaper and I would pull them all around and basically dust the fucking floor. At first I was like, what?

SPEAKER_02: 16:49

He was latching on your and I was like, oh, like as a baby.

SPEAKER_01: 16:52

Cat it.

SPEAKER_02: 16:53

I was like, what a weird thing.

SPEAKER_00: 16:56

And my roommate had a cat named Echo, who was declawed before they received her, so they didn't do it, so no hate. Um, but this cat would climb into the couch, like go inside of the couch, and when you would be sitting there, her paw would come out and she'd be like pop pop and like just cat paw out of nowhere. So yeah, she was yeah, orange and white, just ornery as fuck. So yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 17:19

We have, and I know I mentioned earlier, we'll uh we'll adjust this to line up with our fur and scales section. But uh our our fur and scale babies include two dogs, one cat, and a corn snake. Yes. Corn snake is getting huge. Oh man, we just had a shed recently and it was like five feet long. I'm five foot tall, so like that motherfucker's as tall as I am. Yeah. I'm like, okay.

SPEAKER_00: 17:53

Ferdy's Ferdy's getting fat too. Getting big. Ferdy is like the fucking uh what is it? D, the D batteries? Yeah. Yeah, like fucking D-sized batteries. That's like that's kind of how fat Ferdy is. Okay, so maybe C, but definitely on his way to a D. Like that even chonky. Chonky.

SPEAKER_02: 18:12

It's actually uh time for a feeding. So uh how we're gonna pull a mouse. I'm gonna pull a mouse. Yeah. What other growth do you see for our family?

SPEAKER_00: 18:23

Uh I definitely see uh a birth of a new microphone. Yes. I definitely see a birth of a new microphone, maybe um maybe a uh a mic holder as well. I think yeah, I think, yeah, maybe a keitar.

SPEAKER_02: 18:41

Oh, definitely a fucking key tar. Oh my god, I need a key tar so badly.

SPEAKER_00: 18:47

Because they're just so hokey, but god damn, they look so cool. That's why I want it. Right, because it's hokey. Well, I so I went to this, um, I went to this uh this music thing, and it was uh it was all local people, but this kid put his keyboard on a fucking broomstick and made his own fucking key tar out of it, and it was what a baller. Right, and it was so fucking I was just like, bro, that's great. He attached his keyboard to this damn fucking broomstick, and he made like he it was clearly a broom. You could see the broom on the end of it. It was like, holy shit, bro. But regular keyboard made it into a key tar. So hey, I'm just saying. He said, I don't give a fuck. Yeah. Yeah. Doesn't matter. And also plants. I see a lot of plants. Oh yeah, we also have plant babies. Yeah, I see a lot of plants, grown food, that kind of thing.

SPEAKER_02: 19:37

Yes.

SPEAKER_00: 19:38

Maybe become arbanists, not arsonists, arbanists.

SPEAKER_02: 19:41

Yes, there is a difference. There's a striking difference. Oh. Ha ha ha. Wow. Fucking hilarious. I'll be here all week, guys. Hey oh.

SPEAKER_00: 19:54

And gals, babies and thems. The queer unity. And the allies. Yeah. And if for any reason haters are listening, weird but okay. Weird but okay. You're right too. Yeah, you're in there. Fuck it.

SPEAKER_02: 20:07

What a weird thing for you to be doing, but okie dokie. Can't stand these gay people. I gotta listen to their podcast. Oh my god, I can't stand that the gays are doing things with each other.

SPEAKER_00: 20:18

How dare they have clear communications in a space where they can talk to each other and congregate and learn.

SPEAKER_01: 20:25

Dare they love freely? That's not what Jesus died for. Oh my god. Oh wait, it actually is.

SPEAKER_02: 20:34

You know, actually, Jesus died for reasons that are directly associated with people killing him. Also known as murder. Right.

SPEAKER_00: 20:46

And you know what it was? It was radical Christian extremists that guild him.

SPEAKER_02: 20:55

Isn't that fascinating?

SPEAKER_00: 20:59

Weird. Because I truly genuine. Maybe I'll say religious extremists. There, there we go. Religious extremists. Religious extremists. We'll we'll say that because you know.

SPEAKER_02: 21:11

Yeah. And since we're here, I would like to personally issue an apology. Um in in reflection, it has occurred to me that I've said in the past that I have an issue with Christianity. My issue is not with Christianity. My issue, personally, is with churchianity. And there is a big fucking difference between the two. And I apologize for the misspeak. Do you think maybe we should have an episode about that? Oh, I would love to have an entire episode about churchy entity and like my experience. Heck yeah. Because I'm telling you, if the church that I grew up in was a little bit more fucking supportive of the gay community, I don't think I would have fucking pushed it so hard. Right. Like from myself. I think I might have been able to explore that more willingly. Yeah. Because I watched Persecution within the church. Oh, I would love a churchyanity episode. Oh yeah. So, um you want to hit it with a boom bat, baby?

SPEAKER_00: 22:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:16

What questions do you have for the listeners this week?

SPEAKER_00: 22:20

So, for our listeners this week, tell us what does family mean to you? Who feels most like home to you right now? Oh. And uh give us your answers. Tag us or share your story and pictures on IG at queerly.committed.

SPEAKER_02: 22:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 22:40

Don't forget to follow us on YouTube at queerly committed. And uh yeah, share your stories and whatnot, and we'll post them up, and maybe even they'll be featured in a future episode. Hell yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 22:52

You know, speaking of which, you could even follow us on Blue Sky at queerly committed. Or TikTok at gross underscore girls. Or you can text the show from a link in the show notes. Yay. You could even send us an email. Queerlycommitted at gmail.com.

SPEAKER_00: 23:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02: 23:12

Either way, tag us or send us a message.

SPEAKER_00: 23:15

Yeah. Like I said, your story might get featured in an upcoming episode.

SPEAKER_02: 23:19

Yeah. And honestly, it's probably about due time for one of those, isn't it? Yeah. Maybe uh maybe we just explore.

SPEAKER_00: 23:29

Yeah. So uh until next time. Yeah. Stay bold. Stay bold. Stay so often. I'll stay so so often.

SPEAKER_02: 23:42

Stay. Queerly committed, right? Oh, no, we do that together. Stay. Weird. Wild? Wonderful? Fuck yeah.

SPEAKER_00: 23:55

Weird, wild, and wonderful. Stay West Virginia. Oh god. But most importantly, stay queerly committed.

SPEAKER_02: 24:04

Bye. Thanks for tuning in to this week's episode of Queerly Committed. Don't forget to subscribe, leave a review, and share this with someone who could use a little communication upgrade.

SPEAKER_00: 24:14

And as always, keep vibing, stay real, and we'll see you next time.